whelp. it's nearly been one week and i haven't written in my blog yet. so to make good on my promises, here is another entry. the truth is, per usual, i don't have anything worth sharing. last weekend i spent studying, all week i spent studying, and all day today i've been studying. for what? GRE!
wednesday evening i took a train out of kosice to budapest where i've been holed up in a hotel room for the past two days. thursday morning i took the general GRE. honestly, i thought i was perfectly prepared and i was more confident than normal. i walked into the bizarre testing room, sat in my 80's-esque wooden cubicle, fixed the orange "noise-blocking" headphones on and proceeded to complete the exam on a more-than-outdated PC. four hours later, i removed the headphones (whose ancient heaviness had left a painful indent in my hairdo) and stared at the screen with my scores. as it turns out, i'm actually not a genius. i know that this news may surprise many of you (trust me, it surprised me too), but i'm actually exceptionally normal. i shrugged my shoulders, thought to myself "ok," and left the testing center without even the slightest sigh of relief. blahhhhhhhhse.
since leaving the testing center on thursday around 1:00, i've been in my hotel room. yep. going on 30 hours now! i've been sleeping, eating... but mostly studying my brains out. tomorrow morning i take the GRE english subject exam. if the general GRE made me feel un-genius-like, this exam makes me feel downright incompetent. i feel as if i'm dressed in a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops and being forced to climb mt. everest. surprisingly, and most uncharacteristically, this acute awareness of my incompetency drives me more towards sleep than panic. i can hardly remember taking a test without a shred of panic. but i think now, a full year and a half out of college, i've realized that it just doesn't matter. of course it'd be great to do well on the exam, and it will be hard to see a bad score (and realistically, i understand it is "important" for my "future"). but truthfully, the bigger tragedy for me at the moment would be missing my morning coffee, discovering a great big zit on my forehead, or missing a gratuitous ten minutes of reading. or my god, even worse, discovering that i've run out of yogurt!!! (the horror!!)
lazy and unenlightened, i may be, but unhappiness i refuse.
people of MN: SEND ME SOME NEWS! i feel stranded on an island, and all of you feel like a distant memory of some former fantastical life i used to lead.
lovingly yours,
alw
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