this past week at school, as a writing exercise, i asked the students to free-write about what their perfect day would look like. i was thinking about what my perfect day might look like... and lo and behold, it was realized yesterday.
we are on fall break and val is gone for the weekend. i have the flat all to myself and nothing to do. which is pretty glorious, if you ask me. yesterday i woke up late, around 10:00, feeling so happy. i'd had nice dreams, i was warm and the sun was shining. i got out of bed and stretched, and went to make a perfect cup of (real) coffee. i had my strawberry yogurt, drank my coffee and looked out of the window. the trees are in the peak of their autumn color, and the tree just outside of this flat is a deep, golden yellow... it is really beautiful. after my breakfast, i changed and stretched and went out for a run. i went to Anicka, a park nearby, and ran for nearly an hour. the trees were so beautiful and the run felt so good to my lazy body.
i came back to my flat and prepared a good lunch... i re-heated bean soup that i recently made (yes, i cooked!) and had fresh bread and dark chocolate. perfect. when i sat down to read, my friend olivier called me spontaneously and asked if i would want to go to the countryside with him. of course! so i got dressed and we went by car to lake ruzin. it was so beautiful. the drive was amazing. seriously, the trees are gorgeous. they are dark green, orange, yellow, brown, red... perfection. and the air was so cool and so crisp. we sat near the lake and had some coffee and then we went to a hill nearby to sit and enjoy the surroundings.
afterward, we came back to kosice and i had a quiet evening... reading and watching a documentary while knitting. i really don't know what the day was missing, it felt like everything my soul needed.
the rest of this holiday should be good as well. i just ordered some christmas gifts and am planning to go for some hummus and falafel in a few minutes. can't wait!
send me news!
30.10.11
an old post
i've moved, and since this move, i don't have such regular access to the internet. hence, this post is one that i wrote a few days ago... but worth posting, nonetheless.
Yesterday I booked my tickets to come home for Christmas. Get ready, Minnesota! I’m coming!
This last week has been a bit chaotic. On Sunday, I went to Val’s flat to meet her and Fabio for the Rugby World Cup between France and New Zealand. It was my first time watching rugby, but I must say, I am hooked. I am rarely a sports fan, but rugby was so much fun to watch that I will be eager to watch it again. France lost, unfortunately, but it was such a nice morning. Sitting on the couch and watching a game with two friends during the fall… it felt so familiar and so much like home.
After the game, we went to my friend Antonio’s for a small lunch. He lives in a house, so in the back he has a nice yard where we could sit and enjoy the fall weather. Most of the “Spanish team” was there, and Antonio had made pumpkin soup and tortillas (omelette with potatoes) for us. Plus, Val and Fabio had bought really great wine, so the afternoon was full of great food and great friends.
I had to leave early to meet my friend Vesna, because she was helping me move! Because that afternoon, I was moving into Val’s flat. Fortunately, it didn’t take that long to move all of my stuff. And when I went into my room, I was greeted by the most beautiful bedspread. Val and Fabio had found it for me at Tesco. It was pink, purple and covered with Disney Princesses! And, Fabio had bought me a beautiful poster in Paris of a woman staring at the moon with wolves and dogs. Wow. It was all so beautiful and such a wonderful welcome to my new room.
The rest of the week has been, as mentioned earlier, chaotic. We only had “official” school on Monday and Tuesday, and on Wednesday there was some promotion for the French bilingual section in the center where they played Petanque with the mayor. Thursday was a big event to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the bilingual section, and the students put on a big show for the whole school. It was really nice, except for the fact that there were many speeches… all of which were made in Slovak and interpreted into French, or vice a versa. I was lost. Plus, I had woken up late that morning and didn’t have time for my coffee, and I didn’t realize that the event was actually a pretty formal affair… and I showed up in jeans. Whoops.
Every evening I’ve been cooking!!! I’ve made brussel sprouts, bean soup, cookies… be impressed. This is more cooking than I’ve done in a whole year! I’m so happy to have someone to share my meals with. And last night, we danced to songs from the eighties. Finally, I’m living with someone who likes to dance as much as me. It will be a good three months.
This weekend is a holiday, so no school! Normally I would try to go somewhere and see something new, but this year I just wasn’t able to organize anything. My life has felt so nice being quiet that I don’t feel so eager to shake things up. This weekend a friend might come, but that’s it. I hope to do a lot of running, reading, knitting and sleeping.
22.10.11
winter is upon us
it seems that in a matter of twenty-four hours, kosice has turned it's beautiful autumnal back on us, leaving us in the dismal, gray and cold beginnings of winter. the sun has already become a faded memory, and the darkness is becoming heavier and heavier, earlier and earlier, each day.
minnesota is home to some of the cruelest winters, but for some reason the winter in slovakia hits me harder. sunday was a blissful day. the weather was the definition of perfection, and i felt so sweet and light and happy. monday was a bit of a hard day at school, but i managed to hold on to my lightness. by tuesday, however, the clouds had come and winter had poked his ugly head into our lives. this week has been full of efforts to push him away, most of which have been futile. even physically i'm more tired and my body feels on the constant verge of sickness.
enough gloom. i said, enough! because despite all of this, i still have one good story to tell.
last night i felt sick. laying on my bed, hoping to vomit for some relief (sorry to be graphic). i decided that i should do something good, to reintroduce a bit of happiness into my current state of mind. naturally, i called valerie. we decided to meet for a drink (of tea, in my case). when she arrived, she came with her friend! he's french, and his name is patrick (but we call him Fabio, lest there be any confusion). he's great, and he came early this weekend to surprise val. it was a great surprise for me as well. since the restaurant we wanted to go to was full, we went to a different one--- one that i'd never been to. it was underground, and when we walked in we saw that friday was "disco night." without much pause, we went in. we sat down next to the empty dance floor, and there wasn't any music or anything playing. we ordered our food. while we waited, fabio gave me a gift that he brought from paris. it was a set of extra-classy saki glasses that, when filled with liquid, show less-than-kosher images of less-than-proper women (i hope you feel the humor). when we were eating, the lights suddenly turned off in favor of disco-lights. the fog machine went to work and we were suddenly eating our meal in the middle of the dance floor to the soundtrack of ABBA in the background. val and fabio have a great sense of humor, so we spent the rest of the meal laughing and dancing, and watching the people around us dance. the crowd was mostly middle-aged, and my favorite couple was one guy in white with a true mullet, serious moves and an unrelenting pursuit of a woman in black (who also had a mullet). he finally won her over, and they danced with locked lips for almost ten minutes. not really kissing, just locking lips. i searched for someone who i could use to compete with them, but i only found an old, leprechaun-esque man with moves which left me wondering if he had turrets or muscle spasms. i wasn't keen on trying.
after pop, lock and droppin' it, we moved to a different bar for a drink. i had a juice and went home early, but at least i had a small smile on my face.
this weekend i'm making the move to valerie's flat. if you think of me, say a little prayer and wish upon a lucky star.
minnesota is home to some of the cruelest winters, but for some reason the winter in slovakia hits me harder. sunday was a blissful day. the weather was the definition of perfection, and i felt so sweet and light and happy. monday was a bit of a hard day at school, but i managed to hold on to my lightness. by tuesday, however, the clouds had come and winter had poked his ugly head into our lives. this week has been full of efforts to push him away, most of which have been futile. even physically i'm more tired and my body feels on the constant verge of sickness.
enough gloom. i said, enough! because despite all of this, i still have one good story to tell.
last night i felt sick. laying on my bed, hoping to vomit for some relief (sorry to be graphic). i decided that i should do something good, to reintroduce a bit of happiness into my current state of mind. naturally, i called valerie. we decided to meet for a drink (of tea, in my case). when she arrived, she came with her friend! he's french, and his name is patrick (but we call him Fabio, lest there be any confusion). he's great, and he came early this weekend to surprise val. it was a great surprise for me as well. since the restaurant we wanted to go to was full, we went to a different one--- one that i'd never been to. it was underground, and when we walked in we saw that friday was "disco night." without much pause, we went in. we sat down next to the empty dance floor, and there wasn't any music or anything playing. we ordered our food. while we waited, fabio gave me a gift that he brought from paris. it was a set of extra-classy saki glasses that, when filled with liquid, show less-than-kosher images of less-than-proper women (i hope you feel the humor). when we were eating, the lights suddenly turned off in favor of disco-lights. the fog machine went to work and we were suddenly eating our meal in the middle of the dance floor to the soundtrack of ABBA in the background. val and fabio have a great sense of humor, so we spent the rest of the meal laughing and dancing, and watching the people around us dance. the crowd was mostly middle-aged, and my favorite couple was one guy in white with a true mullet, serious moves and an unrelenting pursuit of a woman in black (who also had a mullet). he finally won her over, and they danced with locked lips for almost ten minutes. not really kissing, just locking lips. i searched for someone who i could use to compete with them, but i only found an old, leprechaun-esque man with moves which left me wondering if he had turrets or muscle spasms. i wasn't keen on trying.
after pop, lock and droppin' it, we moved to a different bar for a drink. i had a juice and went home early, but at least i had a small smile on my face.
this weekend i'm making the move to valerie's flat. if you think of me, say a little prayer and wish upon a lucky star.
16.10.11
my hair is screaming infidelities.
my hair is everywhere. it's disgusting. i mention this only for two reasons: 1. i just finished sweeping my floor and vomiting over how much hair i put in the bin, and 2. i had no idea what to call the title of this entry, and the worm in my ear was singing "your hair is everywhere..." for obvious reasons. don't even begin to tell me how lame it is, i already know.
and i know it's lame to be writing another entry just one or two days after the last, but i have to. i just have to. yesterday was too memorable to go by undocumented via my narcissistic outlet.
saturday morning i woke up full of dread: GRE English Subject exam doomsday. i had an awkward encounter with the front desk guy at the hotel, and an even more awkward encounter with an old lady in the breakfast room. without details, these encounters can be explained by locked doors, failure of my "i'm-stupid-but-so-sweet-you-love-me" routine, and my over-enthusiastic love for yogurt. you can fill in the rest with your imagination.
after breakfast, i went to the testing site for a series of more uncomfortable encounters... luckily, i wasn't leading the Awkward Train this time. i walked up to the steps to the room and immediately when i turned into the corridor i heard a group of guys talking and laughing. they all looked like wannabe Einsteins in varying forms. some had long neanderthal hair and sweatpants, some had old loafers and tattered sweaters, some looked like dan wilson after spending three months in the desert, and all looked like they hadn't gone shopping since puberty. i walked closer and as i approached they all got quiet. not knowing what to do, i employed the "i'm stupid but so sweet" routine (this time quite effectively) and asked "is this where the GRE subject exams are?" one of the guys gave me a "No Shit Sherlock" look and said plainly "yes." their conversation promptly resumed with one guy explaining the discovery of his math genius, "when i was in seventh grade and everyone thought i was bad at math, and then i went to Mathletes and i was the only one who scored higher than fifty percent on the exam." then a guy with curly hair and glasses (and an unfortunate stutter) said "it was cosign a.... uh, and.... co co cosign b (hiccupping laughter), not co sa sa sign a pl.... plus cosign b!" everyone bounced and grunted-- some mathematical form of laughter. one was talking about the math section of the general GRE, laughing about how incredibly simplistic it was (i sheepishly tucked my tail in between my legs). two very classy asians walked in, sporting their MIT water bottles and they purposefully removed themselves from the rest of the group. in total, there were two unibrows, two zit-prone, four hand-wringers, one continual bathroom-runner, one foot bouncer, seven glasses, three lightweights and nearly all (i would soon discover) were pencil tappers. what does that equal? one classic, nervous group of math nerds.
while waiting and relishing this group, i looked at the list of test takers next to the door. on the left were the names, and on the right it listed the specific exam each was taking: "mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, Literature in English, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics." needless to say, i was the odd one out.
and how did the exam go? i didn't cry and i finished it.
after the exam, i rewarded myself with walk in beautiful budapest and a little shopping. it was an autumnal saturday at its finest, accompanied with an americano to-go.
my train left at six in the evening, and i was on the train well before it's departure at 5:30. i went early to secure my cabin and do everything i could to make it look like it wasn't available for sharing (i'm a little selfish and high-maintenance when it comes to traveling by train). but as soon as i was closing the door and curtains, a 70ish-old man knocked on the door and asked in slovak "is it open." i sighed. replied "ano, prosim," and opened the door for him (all the while thinking, MY GOD! THE WHOLE CAR IS FULL OF OPEN CABINS! GET YOUR OWN!) and smiled pleasantly. he immediately caught on that i didn't speak slovak, so he started talking to me in english.
long winded fails to describe him. from 5:30 until our train pulled into kosice at 10:00, he talked to me in his broken english. not a single break. i could write a novel about this man. he is a veterinarian and works at the university, and as soon as i said i was from minnesota he grabbed my hand "ah! min knee soh tah! saint pow ol! i was there! yea! i was there!... pockaj, moment... LEE KER! the store to buy al koh hall! it was near the capitol, there slovaks were, special shop, to buy the alcohol!" and he told me about which water is best to buy in slovakia ("the green is with the little of the gas, the blue has the gas"), which meat is best, which cheese is best (and where each cheese is made), how to make good eggs, what brandy is made from, what beer is made from, why tokaj wine is sweet, what are good fruit syrups, where to find the best apples, why the produce isn't so good, why the weather is so dry, why the farming in socialism was better, why slovakia was the first country to get rid of tuberculosis in its farms, why oil gives you cancer, why the mammary glands swollen in cows is a problem, why there is infertility among dairy cows, why the cows in portugal die from bacterial infections.
when we were talking about sausage, i confessed that i didn't like sausage, he looked at me "but why not!" he was visibly angry, "here it is very good, very good the sausage, many spice." and i said that yes, i know, but in general i don't like salamis or sausage. "BUT WHY NOT! HERE IS VERY GOOD THE SAUSAGE" so finally i said, yes you're right! great sausage! and his smile returned. without pause, he proceeded to inform me how to use pork fat for cooking (oil gives us cancer), how to use pork blood (yes, blood) for cooking, how to stuff food in the pig intestines for eating (like "the english kitchen"). he told me in detail about hunting, where he shot the animal, how long it twitched before it collapsed on its left side, how much it bled... and then, of course, he had photos to show me of his dead animals. many, many photos. we talked about the university system, about his research, about what it means to have good meat "first, we consider the water. is it clean. does it have the minerals. where is it from. was there insects in it. how about the viruses. second, we consider the ground. is it the hay. is it the pelts. is it the mud. how about is it clean. is it the soft or is it the hard. third, we consider the pen. is there room for the sow to stand up. for the sow to sit down. for the sow to go to the water. for the sow to lay down. for the sow to turn in the circle. is the sow happy. is it away from the pain. is it away from the discomfort. fourth, we consider..." and what if he was searching for a word in english that i didn't know? anger! and then he told me the name of a certain grain here in slovakia, and i told him i didn't know it. outrage! "BUT IT IS IN THE ENGLISH! THIS IS THE NAME IN THE ENGLISH! I KNOW IT! IT IS YOUR LANGUAGE! YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE! YOU NOT KNOW IT!" but as soon as i said oh yes, ok, yes i know it... his smile returned, and he continued without pause.
this man was clearly intelligent, and wildly eccentric. he was quite tall and unmoved by my suitcase straps hitting his head at every jolt of the train. he knew the latin names of everything, from trees to animals to plants (and of course told me). he was an avid hunter. he's literally traveled the world. he hates gypsies and talks about socialism like one talks about utopia. his name is gabriel, his daughter gabriella, and his granddaughter gabrielle. and the man just wouldn't let me rest! he even insisted on taking me home rather than letting me walk in peace.
by the time i was finally in my flat, i went to wash my face and noticed my puffy eyes and shiny hair. but i still had to go and meet some friends. as seems to be my trademark lately, i came looking like i've just escaped from the asylum. my hair was frizzy, shiny and wild (and leaving a trail, it seems). evidence of the crazy day i'd just had.
whew. are you still awake? if not, wake up. this is the end of the entry.
send me some news, dear people from home! i miss you.
and i know it's lame to be writing another entry just one or two days after the last, but i have to. i just have to. yesterday was too memorable to go by undocumented via my narcissistic outlet.
saturday morning i woke up full of dread: GRE English Subject exam doomsday. i had an awkward encounter with the front desk guy at the hotel, and an even more awkward encounter with an old lady in the breakfast room. without details, these encounters can be explained by locked doors, failure of my "i'm-stupid-but-so-sweet-you-love-me" routine, and my over-enthusiastic love for yogurt. you can fill in the rest with your imagination.
after breakfast, i went to the testing site for a series of more uncomfortable encounters... luckily, i wasn't leading the Awkward Train this time. i walked up to the steps to the room and immediately when i turned into the corridor i heard a group of guys talking and laughing. they all looked like wannabe Einsteins in varying forms. some had long neanderthal hair and sweatpants, some had old loafers and tattered sweaters, some looked like dan wilson after spending three months in the desert, and all looked like they hadn't gone shopping since puberty. i walked closer and as i approached they all got quiet. not knowing what to do, i employed the "i'm stupid but so sweet" routine (this time quite effectively) and asked "is this where the GRE subject exams are?" one of the guys gave me a "No Shit Sherlock" look and said plainly "yes." their conversation promptly resumed with one guy explaining the discovery of his math genius, "when i was in seventh grade and everyone thought i was bad at math, and then i went to Mathletes and i was the only one who scored higher than fifty percent on the exam." then a guy with curly hair and glasses (and an unfortunate stutter) said "it was cosign a.... uh, and.... co co cosign b (hiccupping laughter), not co sa sa sign a pl.... plus cosign b!" everyone bounced and grunted-- some mathematical form of laughter. one was talking about the math section of the general GRE, laughing about how incredibly simplistic it was (i sheepishly tucked my tail in between my legs). two very classy asians walked in, sporting their MIT water bottles and they purposefully removed themselves from the rest of the group. in total, there were two unibrows, two zit-prone, four hand-wringers, one continual bathroom-runner, one foot bouncer, seven glasses, three lightweights and nearly all (i would soon discover) were pencil tappers. what does that equal? one classic, nervous group of math nerds.
while waiting and relishing this group, i looked at the list of test takers next to the door. on the left were the names, and on the right it listed the specific exam each was taking: "mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, Literature in English, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics, mathematics." needless to say, i was the odd one out.
and how did the exam go? i didn't cry and i finished it.
after the exam, i rewarded myself with walk in beautiful budapest and a little shopping. it was an autumnal saturday at its finest, accompanied with an americano to-go.
my train left at six in the evening, and i was on the train well before it's departure at 5:30. i went early to secure my cabin and do everything i could to make it look like it wasn't available for sharing (i'm a little selfish and high-maintenance when it comes to traveling by train). but as soon as i was closing the door and curtains, a 70ish-old man knocked on the door and asked in slovak "is it open." i sighed. replied "ano, prosim," and opened the door for him (all the while thinking, MY GOD! THE WHOLE CAR IS FULL OF OPEN CABINS! GET YOUR OWN!) and smiled pleasantly. he immediately caught on that i didn't speak slovak, so he started talking to me in english.
long winded fails to describe him. from 5:30 until our train pulled into kosice at 10:00, he talked to me in his broken english. not a single break. i could write a novel about this man. he is a veterinarian and works at the university, and as soon as i said i was from minnesota he grabbed my hand "ah! min knee soh tah! saint pow ol! i was there! yea! i was there!... pockaj, moment... LEE KER! the store to buy al koh hall! it was near the capitol, there slovaks were, special shop, to buy the alcohol!" and he told me about which water is best to buy in slovakia ("the green is with the little of the gas, the blue has the gas"), which meat is best, which cheese is best (and where each cheese is made), how to make good eggs, what brandy is made from, what beer is made from, why tokaj wine is sweet, what are good fruit syrups, where to find the best apples, why the produce isn't so good, why the weather is so dry, why the farming in socialism was better, why slovakia was the first country to get rid of tuberculosis in its farms, why oil gives you cancer, why the mammary glands swollen in cows is a problem, why there is infertility among dairy cows, why the cows in portugal die from bacterial infections.
when we were talking about sausage, i confessed that i didn't like sausage, he looked at me "but why not!" he was visibly angry, "here it is very good, very good the sausage, many spice." and i said that yes, i know, but in general i don't like salamis or sausage. "BUT WHY NOT! HERE IS VERY GOOD THE SAUSAGE" so finally i said, yes you're right! great sausage! and his smile returned. without pause, he proceeded to inform me how to use pork fat for cooking (oil gives us cancer), how to use pork blood (yes, blood) for cooking, how to stuff food in the pig intestines for eating (like "the english kitchen"). he told me in detail about hunting, where he shot the animal, how long it twitched before it collapsed on its left side, how much it bled... and then, of course, he had photos to show me of his dead animals. many, many photos. we talked about the university system, about his research, about what it means to have good meat "first, we consider the water. is it clean. does it have the minerals. where is it from. was there insects in it. how about the viruses. second, we consider the ground. is it the hay. is it the pelts. is it the mud. how about is it clean. is it the soft or is it the hard. third, we consider the pen. is there room for the sow to stand up. for the sow to sit down. for the sow to go to the water. for the sow to lay down. for the sow to turn in the circle. is the sow happy. is it away from the pain. is it away from the discomfort. fourth, we consider..." and what if he was searching for a word in english that i didn't know? anger! and then he told me the name of a certain grain here in slovakia, and i told him i didn't know it. outrage! "BUT IT IS IN THE ENGLISH! THIS IS THE NAME IN THE ENGLISH! I KNOW IT! IT IS YOUR LANGUAGE! YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE! YOU NOT KNOW IT!" but as soon as i said oh yes, ok, yes i know it... his smile returned, and he continued without pause.
this man was clearly intelligent, and wildly eccentric. he was quite tall and unmoved by my suitcase straps hitting his head at every jolt of the train. he knew the latin names of everything, from trees to animals to plants (and of course told me). he was an avid hunter. he's literally traveled the world. he hates gypsies and talks about socialism like one talks about utopia. his name is gabriel, his daughter gabriella, and his granddaughter gabrielle. and the man just wouldn't let me rest! he even insisted on taking me home rather than letting me walk in peace.
by the time i was finally in my flat, i went to wash my face and noticed my puffy eyes and shiny hair. but i still had to go and meet some friends. as seems to be my trademark lately, i came looking like i've just escaped from the asylum. my hair was frizzy, shiny and wild (and leaving a trail, it seems). evidence of the crazy day i'd just had.
whew. are you still awake? if not, wake up. this is the end of the entry.
send me some news, dear people from home! i miss you.
14.10.11
keeping to my promise
whelp. it's nearly been one week and i haven't written in my blog yet. so to make good on my promises, here is another entry. the truth is, per usual, i don't have anything worth sharing. last weekend i spent studying, all week i spent studying, and all day today i've been studying. for what? GRE!
wednesday evening i took a train out of kosice to budapest where i've been holed up in a hotel room for the past two days. thursday morning i took the general GRE. honestly, i thought i was perfectly prepared and i was more confident than normal. i walked into the bizarre testing room, sat in my 80's-esque wooden cubicle, fixed the orange "noise-blocking" headphones on and proceeded to complete the exam on a more-than-outdated PC. four hours later, i removed the headphones (whose ancient heaviness had left a painful indent in my hairdo) and stared at the screen with my scores. as it turns out, i'm actually not a genius. i know that this news may surprise many of you (trust me, it surprised me too), but i'm actually exceptionally normal. i shrugged my shoulders, thought to myself "ok," and left the testing center without even the slightest sigh of relief. blahhhhhhhhse.
since leaving the testing center on thursday around 1:00, i've been in my hotel room. yep. going on 30 hours now! i've been sleeping, eating... but mostly studying my brains out. tomorrow morning i take the GRE english subject exam. if the general GRE made me feel un-genius-like, this exam makes me feel downright incompetent. i feel as if i'm dressed in a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops and being forced to climb mt. everest. surprisingly, and most uncharacteristically, this acute awareness of my incompetency drives me more towards sleep than panic. i can hardly remember taking a test without a shred of panic. but i think now, a full year and a half out of college, i've realized that it just doesn't matter. of course it'd be great to do well on the exam, and it will be hard to see a bad score (and realistically, i understand it is "important" for my "future"). but truthfully, the bigger tragedy for me at the moment would be missing my morning coffee, discovering a great big zit on my forehead, or missing a gratuitous ten minutes of reading. or my god, even worse, discovering that i've run out of yogurt!!! (the horror!!)
lazy and unenlightened, i may be, but unhappiness i refuse.
people of MN: SEND ME SOME NEWS! i feel stranded on an island, and all of you feel like a distant memory of some former fantastical life i used to lead.
lovingly yours,
alw
wednesday evening i took a train out of kosice to budapest where i've been holed up in a hotel room for the past two days. thursday morning i took the general GRE. honestly, i thought i was perfectly prepared and i was more confident than normal. i walked into the bizarre testing room, sat in my 80's-esque wooden cubicle, fixed the orange "noise-blocking" headphones on and proceeded to complete the exam on a more-than-outdated PC. four hours later, i removed the headphones (whose ancient heaviness had left a painful indent in my hairdo) and stared at the screen with my scores. as it turns out, i'm actually not a genius. i know that this news may surprise many of you (trust me, it surprised me too), but i'm actually exceptionally normal. i shrugged my shoulders, thought to myself "ok," and left the testing center without even the slightest sigh of relief. blahhhhhhhhse.
since leaving the testing center on thursday around 1:00, i've been in my hotel room. yep. going on 30 hours now! i've been sleeping, eating... but mostly studying my brains out. tomorrow morning i take the GRE english subject exam. if the general GRE made me feel un-genius-like, this exam makes me feel downright incompetent. i feel as if i'm dressed in a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops and being forced to climb mt. everest. surprisingly, and most uncharacteristically, this acute awareness of my incompetency drives me more towards sleep than panic. i can hardly remember taking a test without a shred of panic. but i think now, a full year and a half out of college, i've realized that it just doesn't matter. of course it'd be great to do well on the exam, and it will be hard to see a bad score (and realistically, i understand it is "important" for my "future"). but truthfully, the bigger tragedy for me at the moment would be missing my morning coffee, discovering a great big zit on my forehead, or missing a gratuitous ten minutes of reading. or my god, even worse, discovering that i've run out of yogurt!!! (the horror!!)
lazy and unenlightened, i may be, but unhappiness i refuse.
people of MN: SEND ME SOME NEWS! i feel stranded on an island, and all of you feel like a distant memory of some former fantastical life i used to lead.
lovingly yours,
alw
6.10.11
it's friday, friday!
after the "bomb" dropped on monday, things have been sorting themselves out. i've decided to live with my friend, valerie, which i'm becoming really excited about. i'm trying to view moving out of my flat like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon or a snake shedding its old skin (though i think the snake analogy is more accurate, i much prefer to be a butterfly). optimism is the wave i'm riding this week, and its getting me far. and when i arrived at school on tuesday, my co-workers dana and misa were incredibly encouraging and helpful. i was so thankful that they were "looking out" for me, and i realized (again) how fortunate i am to work with these wonderful women.
on wednesday, i had a lesson with a class that i'm having a really difficult time connecting with. the students aren't really sharp, and i simply don't feel well in their lessons. to counteract this, i've been trying to employ some different methods. this week, our theme was "sports," and i decided to teach them a little bit about baseball. while we were talking about it, i got the bright idea to play kickball... which seemed to be, in my mind, just like baseball... except with feet. the weather was perfect, it was the end of the day, and it seemed like the perfect idea. i told two boys to go find a ball, and as soon as they came back we headed outside. little did i realize that these students have literally NO concept of baseball, kickball, or any game involving bases. the boys in the class were eager to learn and helped me in explaining the game to the whole class. finally, i rolled the first "pitch" (with a soccer ball) to start the game. the student kicked it hard and far into the outfield. the girls, who i had physically placed in the outfield (five feet away from each other), simply stood there and looked at me: failure #1. then, i explained that if you catch the ball, the kicker is automatically out. during one "inning," the ball kept pop-flying to the same student, and each time he let it bounce just in front of him before "catching" it: failure #2. then, i explained that if you touch the base with the ball, the runner is out. after a student kicked the ball toward second and began running toward first, another student grabbed the ball and touched the third base and yelled "out!" to the player at first: failure #3.
besides these failures and my constant yelling to "look alive! don't be so lazy! girls, you're beautiful but you have to move!," i had a few small successes. i taught them, "jump! shake your booty, jump! jump! shake your booty!" and "let's go! let's go! l-e-t-s g-o!" and i was so happy to hear them yell, "run! go! go! go!" instead of the slovak equivalent.
after the game of pseudo-kickball, i went up to the bilingual section to join my friend val and her drama club. this year marks the twentieth anniversary of the french-bilingual section, so they are preparing a lot of different events to commemorate it. val's drama club is dancing, and she asked if i'd join. one of my student's dad's is a professional choreographer, and he is the one teaching us. he is about 50, looks like a gray-haired penguin, is incredibly nice and is the best, straight, male dancer i've ever seen. he's excellent. my coordination and dancing abilities, however, are not excellent. nor is my slovak, so his directions seemed like jibberish. i knew i had to move, but i didn't know how. imagine all of the students, young and beautiful and coordinated, and then me, awkward and clumsy and confused. it was a riot. i left sweaty, happily humiliated, and with a semi-twisted knee (there was a particularly fancy, twisting move on the floor which got the best of me).
and then on wednesday evening, i went to an exhibition by my friends from keks design. they had gone around flats and other buildings in kosice to look for furniture from the 70's and 80's as the subject of the exhibition. without doubt, this was my favorite exhibition that i've seen while in kosice. it was original, well organized and thought provoking (not to mention uniquely beautiful).
beyond this, i've been spending my days studying for the GRE. i have to take an "english subject" exam, which covers everything in the world of english... a world i have been noticeably distant from in the last year. wish me luck.
all for now. send me an email, a postcard or just a simple line to let me know how life is back home. i miss it.
3.10.11
my home
as has been my ritual, this morning i woke up early to read, write and breathe before beginning my day. these have been my most precious moments the last month or so, and there is little that will tempt me to sacrifice these still and beautiful minutes of quiet and solitude.
this morning when i was writing, i had a deep longing for a home. not just a home, but a physical place to live. i dreamed a bit about what i wanted and how it would look, and while i was dreaming, i realized that i have an amazing home here. i truly adore my flat. not only is it in a beautiful old building, it has a spectacular view, there is always live music flooding the courtyard from the teahouse below, and i'm starting to be friendly with my neighbors. since returning, i've truly cared for my flat like it is my child... i'm constantly cleaning and caring for it, developing a routine and finding just the right place for everything. i've painted paintings for the walls, planted flowers for the windows, and created a reading corner surrounded by things that i love. i'm not exaggerating when i say that everyday i'm thankful for this space that i live in. it is the first place that i've had that truly feels like it's mine.
none of this would really be worth mentioning, had i not received unhappy news today. after my lessons at school, nelli asked me to come to her office because she had something serious she needed to talk to me about. when i got into her office, she made me sit down and my first thought was "who died?". then she told me that igor, my landlord, had come into school today and had told nelli that there are "big family problems" and that i need to move out of my flat so someone else can move in. and i need to move out as soon as possible.
i'm not really worried about where i will go. i have options-- and even if i have to live someplace less-than-ideal, i will only be there for about 3 months. the point is, i feel like my home is being taken away from me and there is nothing i can do about it. of course that sounds dramatic, but take into account that i might possibly be the most sentimental person you can meet. it really feels painful to be forced out of this flat.
but as much as i've wanted to cry and complain today, i can't help but think that it'll be ok. maybe that's obvious and granted for most people... but for me, my first thought is always the worst one, and it takes weeks for me to re-acclamate and realize that everything will be ok. fortunately today i was able to trade the weeks of trauma for ten minutes of shock, and an afternoon of mild sadness and sentimentality.
in honor of my first, independent home:
this morning when i was writing, i had a deep longing for a home. not just a home, but a physical place to live. i dreamed a bit about what i wanted and how it would look, and while i was dreaming, i realized that i have an amazing home here. i truly adore my flat. not only is it in a beautiful old building, it has a spectacular view, there is always live music flooding the courtyard from the teahouse below, and i'm starting to be friendly with my neighbors. since returning, i've truly cared for my flat like it is my child... i'm constantly cleaning and caring for it, developing a routine and finding just the right place for everything. i've painted paintings for the walls, planted flowers for the windows, and created a reading corner surrounded by things that i love. i'm not exaggerating when i say that everyday i'm thankful for this space that i live in. it is the first place that i've had that truly feels like it's mine.
none of this would really be worth mentioning, had i not received unhappy news today. after my lessons at school, nelli asked me to come to her office because she had something serious she needed to talk to me about. when i got into her office, she made me sit down and my first thought was "who died?". then she told me that igor, my landlord, had come into school today and had told nelli that there are "big family problems" and that i need to move out of my flat so someone else can move in. and i need to move out as soon as possible.
i'm not really worried about where i will go. i have options-- and even if i have to live someplace less-than-ideal, i will only be there for about 3 months. the point is, i feel like my home is being taken away from me and there is nothing i can do about it. of course that sounds dramatic, but take into account that i might possibly be the most sentimental person you can meet. it really feels painful to be forced out of this flat.
but as much as i've wanted to cry and complain today, i can't help but think that it'll be ok. maybe that's obvious and granted for most people... but for me, my first thought is always the worst one, and it takes weeks for me to re-acclamate and realize that everything will be ok. fortunately today i was able to trade the weeks of trauma for ten minutes of shock, and an afternoon of mild sadness and sentimentality.
in honor of my first, independent home:
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