“I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for me: placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident.”
I don’t like to talk about spirituality and religion in a personal manner. I can speak about religion as a social institution, as a concept… about spirituality as a theory, as a lifestyle. But it is an extremely rare occasion that I find it appropriate to discuss my personal belief and experience, and even then it is strictly with my family.
Despite this, I read this quote in a book my mom gave me, and for a moment the world—at least my current world—seemed suddenly ordered. And I’m breaking my personal rule to share with you why.
These last few months in Slovakia have been good. Really good. But as the winter gets darker and colder, so do my thoughts. Living here is hard. Being a wandering, indecisive, confused twenty-something is hard. Realizing that my strengths are irrelevant and my weaknesses are definitive—is hard. But this realization comes with a second: that god is the essence of a happy existence.
Pause. When I write “god,” I need to be clear. I don’t mean, specifically, the Christian god—nor the god of any other religion. What I mean is the sense of peace and goodness that pulls at our gut and takes hold of our heart. The sense that speaks through meaningful conversations with true friends, which is still in the quiet of morning, and which warms the hands with a cup of fresh coffee. I don’t know how to express this without speaking in clichés, but I certainly refuse to associate it with any religion because (for me) religion is so heavy.
this is a beautiful post, anna. refreshing & true.
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