this morning i am sitting at mcdonald's, along with a handful of retired old men talking about the Twins, waiting for my car to get fixed and trying to catch up on belated emails. today is the last day i have of freedom, my last day as a garfield... i will actually have to stay awake for at least ten hours a day from here on out. tomorrow i start my new job. to be honest, i am really nervous... mostly nervous that i won't like it. yesterday i moved back to minneapolis, more or less officially, and with the move came a host of doubts that i wasn't anticipating. i've realized how many friends i've lost over the last couple of years and how many people my age are married, engaged or pregnant. i miss my friends in kosice who all had mild to severe cases of Peter Pan syndrome.
until next time.
xoxo
13.2.12
4.2.12
high time for an update
as the title suggests, it has been too long since i've written. now i'm home in minnesota, and keeping a blog seems to be the definition of narcissism. however, i hope that my life will continue to hold surprises and adventures which are worth sharing with those i love.
a quick update on my last month in slovakia: it was HARD! it was so hard to say goodbye, and so hard to come to terms with the fact that i might not see some of these people ever again. to be honest, it is still really hard when i start entering those memories. i had a nice lunch with my colleagues from the school (at a great restaurant!), i had a nice dinner with my friend vesna, i had sweet goodbyes from my students... so many wonderful things.
valerie's boyfriend and friend came to visit for the last weekend. the week prior, valerie had told me that on saturday night her boyfriend had a big surprise planned for us. we kept trying to guess what it might be... honestly, i thought it would just be a nice dinner. that day, i went to my friends veronika and attila's flat because veronika, who is an artist, wanted to draw a portrait of me as a going-away gift. it was such a wonderful afternoon. even my friend, silvia, came over to keep us company. it was around 7:00 and i knew that i had to be back at my flat around 7:30 because valerie's boyfriend's big surprise was at 8:00... and he wanted us there at 7:30. i told my friends that i had to go, but they told me to wait for them because they were going to walk to the city to the KEKS office... so they could accompany me for part of the journey. we finally left AT 7:30, and i was a bit panicked because i knew i would be late. finally my friends and i parted ways, and i ran to the flat! when i entered, our door was locked and my key wouldn't open it (there was another key stuck in the lock). so i knocked and val's boyfriend opened the door. immediately something felt strange... so i asked where val was. he told me she was in the other room, so i opened the door and walked in to see ALLLL of my friends there waiting!! it was a big surprise party organized by Valerie!! of course, a couple of minutes later my friends veronika, attila and silvia joined as well (the portrait was just a ploy!). it was the most surprising surprise. i didn't even suspect it! a great, great gift.
leaving, as i mentioned earlier, was hard. the evening before i had a wonderful last-night with valerie and our friend, matej. we went to burekas and our favorite bar, tarantino. it was so good and so hard. then valerie and i spent the last hours dancing in the kitchen. the memory bring tears to my eyes because it was so much fun. finally, my friends olivier and antonio came to take me to the shuttle to budapest... wow. what hard goodbyes.
the journey home was the longest and worst ever. mostly because i was totally exhausted (i didn't sleep for something like 48 hours) and sitting next to smelly old women and crying babies. but finally, after arriving home, i slept like a rock. and the saturday after my arrival, i went to willmar where my friend, eva, was surprised by a proposal. it was wonderful to see her and her fiance and to congratulate them on their engagement in person!
and looking forward... i start working in about a week! i'm so thankful to have a job waiting for me. now i'm just looking for a place to live (wish me luck!)
until next time!
a quick update on my last month in slovakia: it was HARD! it was so hard to say goodbye, and so hard to come to terms with the fact that i might not see some of these people ever again. to be honest, it is still really hard when i start entering those memories. i had a nice lunch with my colleagues from the school (at a great restaurant!), i had a nice dinner with my friend vesna, i had sweet goodbyes from my students... so many wonderful things.
valerie's boyfriend and friend came to visit for the last weekend. the week prior, valerie had told me that on saturday night her boyfriend had a big surprise planned for us. we kept trying to guess what it might be... honestly, i thought it would just be a nice dinner. that day, i went to my friends veronika and attila's flat because veronika, who is an artist, wanted to draw a portrait of me as a going-away gift. it was such a wonderful afternoon. even my friend, silvia, came over to keep us company. it was around 7:00 and i knew that i had to be back at my flat around 7:30 because valerie's boyfriend's big surprise was at 8:00... and he wanted us there at 7:30. i told my friends that i had to go, but they told me to wait for them because they were going to walk to the city to the KEKS office... so they could accompany me for part of the journey. we finally left AT 7:30, and i was a bit panicked because i knew i would be late. finally my friends and i parted ways, and i ran to the flat! when i entered, our door was locked and my key wouldn't open it (there was another key stuck in the lock). so i knocked and val's boyfriend opened the door. immediately something felt strange... so i asked where val was. he told me she was in the other room, so i opened the door and walked in to see ALLLL of my friends there waiting!! it was a big surprise party organized by Valerie!! of course, a couple of minutes later my friends veronika, attila and silvia joined as well (the portrait was just a ploy!). it was the most surprising surprise. i didn't even suspect it! a great, great gift.
leaving, as i mentioned earlier, was hard. the evening before i had a wonderful last-night with valerie and our friend, matej. we went to burekas and our favorite bar, tarantino. it was so good and so hard. then valerie and i spent the last hours dancing in the kitchen. the memory bring tears to my eyes because it was so much fun. finally, my friends olivier and antonio came to take me to the shuttle to budapest... wow. what hard goodbyes.
the journey home was the longest and worst ever. mostly because i was totally exhausted (i didn't sleep for something like 48 hours) and sitting next to smelly old women and crying babies. but finally, after arriving home, i slept like a rock. and the saturday after my arrival, i went to willmar where my friend, eva, was surprised by a proposal. it was wonderful to see her and her fiance and to congratulate them on their engagement in person!
and looking forward... i start working in about a week! i'm so thankful to have a job waiting for me. now i'm just looking for a place to live (wish me luck!)
until next time!
2.1.12
happy new year
it's 2012. can you believe it? i can. 2011 was a long year. it was good, it was rocky, it was refining... but it was long. as the year turned, i was lying in bed after spending the evening with my parents, reading a juvenile lit sensation: the hunger games. no pity necessary, however. i fully expected that this new year's would be quiet, lame and boring: i was just thankful that it was neither heart-breaking nor disappointing. it was safe and simple, themes which seem to be running stronger and stronger in my life. so much of 2011 was spent aching for the things which i couldn't have, mourning hopes which were dashed, and picking up the pieces of disappointed dreams. coming "of age" is a painful process, but a process which (i DO believe!) will reap fruit one day. some of this fruit has already been reaped, when i think about the past few months of simplicity and safety which i pursued in slovakia. deciding that happiness ought to be a choice, i learned how to take full pleasure in chocolate, a good conversation with a friend, and quiet, peaceful mornings. of course life still brought lemons, a particularly sour one just recently, but i feel like i'm learning how to deal with these lemons rather than succumbing to their sting. at least i hope that's the case...
on to the more concrete realities of life the past few weeks, in reverse chronology: last week, before taking katie to the airport, i was able to spend a short evening with my two friends jesse and nick! i was so excited to spend time with people besides my family (sorry, wilson clan) that i may have overwhelmed them with my enthusiasm. regardless, i appreciated the moments with them and the opportunity to hear about their lives over the past six months. after a day of chaotic and rushed shopping with my sister, i also was able to spend some time with my friend, luke. it was a rare opportunity to just hang out like old friends-- the kind of simple and sweet moments which feel increasingly sparse these days.
before heading up to minneapolis, my family and i spent a few days in alexandria. for months my parents had been teasing me with a "big" surprise. torturous is the only word i can think to describe the agonizing months spent trying to decode their communication for any hint of what the surprise could be. christmas morning, we were given small, house shaped boxes with a vial of sand and sea shells placed inside. my first thought was "we're going to mexico!", followed by sheer disappointment when i recognized the shells were from the lake beaches of alexandria, and not cancun. a few days spent in alexandria isn't such a big surprise; however, the surprise was that my parents BOUGHT a CABIN on lake darling! it's a dream our family has had for ages, and it was finally realized. and, i must say, it's a beautiful cabin and one which (i'm sure) will be enjoyed for years to come.
before christmas, i spent an evening with my dear friend, eva. it was so wonderful to see her, exchange gifts, laugh and talk about all things trivial and profound. the thing i love the most about eva is that we can talk about everything from nail color to aristotle's virtue ethics. i was also able to spend an afternoon watching hockey with my other dear friend, erica. everything about her makes me feel happy and inspired. there are few people on this earth with as good of a heart as erica, and i am so thankful that despite my transience and (at times) flightiness, she is stable and loyal enough to unquestionably remain my friend. needless to say, the afternoon i spent with her... and eventually with her husband as well... was treasured.
finally, before leaving slovakia for christmas, i spent an evening in budapest with my friend valerie and her boyfriend fabio (patrick). i love spending time with this couple because they are SO in love. i left early in the morning and had a seamless, easy flight back to the US, even though i lost a piece of luggage. after landing, i plopped a bow on my head and headed down the escalator to be greeted by my parents-- and to wish my dad a happy 54th birthday!
and now, three weeks after arriving back home, i am preparing to return back to slovakia for a short three weeks. i'm excited for what life will bring after slovakia, but i'm nervous to say the farewells which will be so difficult to say.
all for now. i hope that this blog entry finds you all enjoying the first hours of your new year.
love,
anna
on to the more concrete realities of life the past few weeks, in reverse chronology: last week, before taking katie to the airport, i was able to spend a short evening with my two friends jesse and nick! i was so excited to spend time with people besides my family (sorry, wilson clan) that i may have overwhelmed them with my enthusiasm. regardless, i appreciated the moments with them and the opportunity to hear about their lives over the past six months. after a day of chaotic and rushed shopping with my sister, i also was able to spend some time with my friend, luke. it was a rare opportunity to just hang out like old friends-- the kind of simple and sweet moments which feel increasingly sparse these days.
before heading up to minneapolis, my family and i spent a few days in alexandria. for months my parents had been teasing me with a "big" surprise. torturous is the only word i can think to describe the agonizing months spent trying to decode their communication for any hint of what the surprise could be. christmas morning, we were given small, house shaped boxes with a vial of sand and sea shells placed inside. my first thought was "we're going to mexico!", followed by sheer disappointment when i recognized the shells were from the lake beaches of alexandria, and not cancun. a few days spent in alexandria isn't such a big surprise; however, the surprise was that my parents BOUGHT a CABIN on lake darling! it's a dream our family has had for ages, and it was finally realized. and, i must say, it's a beautiful cabin and one which (i'm sure) will be enjoyed for years to come.
before christmas, i spent an evening with my dear friend, eva. it was so wonderful to see her, exchange gifts, laugh and talk about all things trivial and profound. the thing i love the most about eva is that we can talk about everything from nail color to aristotle's virtue ethics. i was also able to spend an afternoon watching hockey with my other dear friend, erica. everything about her makes me feel happy and inspired. there are few people on this earth with as good of a heart as erica, and i am so thankful that despite my transience and (at times) flightiness, she is stable and loyal enough to unquestionably remain my friend. needless to say, the afternoon i spent with her... and eventually with her husband as well... was treasured.
finally, before leaving slovakia for christmas, i spent an evening in budapest with my friend valerie and her boyfriend fabio (patrick). i love spending time with this couple because they are SO in love. i left early in the morning and had a seamless, easy flight back to the US, even though i lost a piece of luggage. after landing, i plopped a bow on my head and headed down the escalator to be greeted by my parents-- and to wish my dad a happy 54th birthday!
and now, three weeks after arriving back home, i am preparing to return back to slovakia for a short three weeks. i'm excited for what life will bring after slovakia, but i'm nervous to say the farewells which will be so difficult to say.
all for now. i hope that this blog entry finds you all enjoying the first hours of your new year.
love,
anna
2.12.11
a short pause
“I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for me: placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident.”
I don’t like to talk about spirituality and religion in a personal manner. I can speak about religion as a social institution, as a concept… about spirituality as a theory, as a lifestyle. But it is an extremely rare occasion that I find it appropriate to discuss my personal belief and experience, and even then it is strictly with my family.
Despite this, I read this quote in a book my mom gave me, and for a moment the world—at least my current world—seemed suddenly ordered. And I’m breaking my personal rule to share with you why.
These last few months in Slovakia have been good. Really good. But as the winter gets darker and colder, so do my thoughts. Living here is hard. Being a wandering, indecisive, confused twenty-something is hard. Realizing that my strengths are irrelevant and my weaknesses are definitive—is hard. But this realization comes with a second: that god is the essence of a happy existence.
Pause. When I write “god,” I need to be clear. I don’t mean, specifically, the Christian god—nor the god of any other religion. What I mean is the sense of peace and goodness that pulls at our gut and takes hold of our heart. The sense that speaks through meaningful conversations with true friends, which is still in the quiet of morning, and which warms the hands with a cup of fresh coffee. I don’t know how to express this without speaking in clichés, but I certainly refuse to associate it with any religion because (for me) religion is so heavy.
8.11.11
Stuzkova and a visit to Liptovsky Mikulas
Since last Sunday, when the clocks fell back, the days seem impossibly short. By 4:00 every afternoon, I’m counting the hours before it is acceptable to go to sleep. The sun starts setting just before then, and it is dark by 5:00. This week has been a week of adjusting to this change, and I hope by next week I’ll be able to stay awake past 8:30 again.
Last Friday, one of my classes had their Stuzkova. In case you’ve forgotten, Stuzkova is an event celebrating the graduation of the final year students. They translate it as prom, which in a way makes sense, but it is nothing like the proms in the US. This particular Stuzkova was for my favorite group of students, 4A. These students are all so nice, honest, sweet and simply happy. Though they aren’t all shockingly intelligent, many of them seem to have a goodness that cannot be learned. Last year I liked all of my students and I mostly enjoyed their Stuzkovas, but the truth is, I didn’t really know the students that well. This year, it was so much more enjoyable because I felt like I knew most of the students. They weren’t just Barbies in their multi-colored dresses with big hair and even bigger heals, it was Lenka and Nika and Barbora dressed in their idea of beauty. And the “program” which the students did wasn’t at all perfect… but it was unmistakably evident that they were having fun and enjoying their own performance, which is a beautiful thing to see.
Despite this, there was about twenty minutes that felt absolutely surreal to me. And I think it’s quite hard to describe unless you know what it’s like to be a foreigner or unless you know anything about Slovaks and their culture. At the Stuzkova, all of the students walk in very regally, accompanied by an epic song, looking very poised and proud. After they walk in, they are each pinned with their stuzkova—a green ribbon that is given to every student in their final year. They are all called by name, pinned, and then they come in front of the whole audience and give a proud bow or curtsy. Then they take an aperitif and hold it, wait for the rest of the class to be pinned, and then many people come up to give speeches. First it was the director of the school. She gave a speech that I didn’t understand, and some students started to get a bit choked up. Then one of the students came to give a speech, and many of the girls in the class were extremely emotional… but I had no idea why because I didn’t really understand everything in the speech. And then, while I was in a daze of confusion, one of the girls collapsed—breaking her glass, cutting her hand, and dripping blood on her white dress. She had merely fainted, but there was a hushed panic and she was quietly walked to the bathroom and then the speeches continued and the ceremony went on… without an “formal” acknowledgement of her collapse.
Perhaps this doesn’t sound so bizarre. But for me, it was completely surreal. It was so strange to personally feel purely apathetic to the speeches when I saw my students feel deeply affected. And then, when I saw something that truly and deeply alarmed me… one of my students shaking on the floor with blood on her beautiful white dress… there was simply a hush and a swift movement to remove the interruption to the program. I am sure that if I had a better understanding of Slovak that I would have better understood everything that was happening. But as a more-or-less dumb and neutral observer, I felt so disturbed by the series of events.
After the Stuzkova on Friday, I took a train on Saturday to see a friend in Liptovsky Mikulas. It was nice to share some meals with her, to catch up on our lives and the maturation that had occurred since we last met. On Sunday, we took a beautiful hike in the Low Tatras. The weather was perfect and epitomized everything I love about fall. The air was fresh, the trees were turning, the sun was shining low in the sky, and we could hear the leaves crunch underneath our boots.
Though the stay in Liptovsky Mikulas was short, it was a needed break from my routine in Kosice. Then, this week, I’ve been enjoying the company of my friend Val and her boyfriend, “Fabio,” who is visiting from Paris. Together we’ve been sharing meals… beautiful French meals with French cheese, learning useful French phrases like “move your ass fat cow.” So far, it’s been a good week. But with each passing day, the truth is that I am looking more and more forward to returning home. Not because I miss my friends and my family, not because I miss all of the comforts of my life in Minnesota, but because I feel like it’s becoming time to close this chapter in my life. Of course I miss things about Minnesota, but this isn’t really a motivator. I simply feel like it is the right time.
Until next week.
30.10.11
a perfect day
this past week at school, as a writing exercise, i asked the students to free-write about what their perfect day would look like. i was thinking about what my perfect day might look like... and lo and behold, it was realized yesterday.
we are on fall break and val is gone for the weekend. i have the flat all to myself and nothing to do. which is pretty glorious, if you ask me. yesterday i woke up late, around 10:00, feeling so happy. i'd had nice dreams, i was warm and the sun was shining. i got out of bed and stretched, and went to make a perfect cup of (real) coffee. i had my strawberry yogurt, drank my coffee and looked out of the window. the trees are in the peak of their autumn color, and the tree just outside of this flat is a deep, golden yellow... it is really beautiful. after my breakfast, i changed and stretched and went out for a run. i went to Anicka, a park nearby, and ran for nearly an hour. the trees were so beautiful and the run felt so good to my lazy body.
i came back to my flat and prepared a good lunch... i re-heated bean soup that i recently made (yes, i cooked!) and had fresh bread and dark chocolate. perfect. when i sat down to read, my friend olivier called me spontaneously and asked if i would want to go to the countryside with him. of course! so i got dressed and we went by car to lake ruzin. it was so beautiful. the drive was amazing. seriously, the trees are gorgeous. they are dark green, orange, yellow, brown, red... perfection. and the air was so cool and so crisp. we sat near the lake and had some coffee and then we went to a hill nearby to sit and enjoy the surroundings.
afterward, we came back to kosice and i had a quiet evening... reading and watching a documentary while knitting. i really don't know what the day was missing, it felt like everything my soul needed.
the rest of this holiday should be good as well. i just ordered some christmas gifts and am planning to go for some hummus and falafel in a few minutes. can't wait!
send me news!
we are on fall break and val is gone for the weekend. i have the flat all to myself and nothing to do. which is pretty glorious, if you ask me. yesterday i woke up late, around 10:00, feeling so happy. i'd had nice dreams, i was warm and the sun was shining. i got out of bed and stretched, and went to make a perfect cup of (real) coffee. i had my strawberry yogurt, drank my coffee and looked out of the window. the trees are in the peak of their autumn color, and the tree just outside of this flat is a deep, golden yellow... it is really beautiful. after my breakfast, i changed and stretched and went out for a run. i went to Anicka, a park nearby, and ran for nearly an hour. the trees were so beautiful and the run felt so good to my lazy body.
i came back to my flat and prepared a good lunch... i re-heated bean soup that i recently made (yes, i cooked!) and had fresh bread and dark chocolate. perfect. when i sat down to read, my friend olivier called me spontaneously and asked if i would want to go to the countryside with him. of course! so i got dressed and we went by car to lake ruzin. it was so beautiful. the drive was amazing. seriously, the trees are gorgeous. they are dark green, orange, yellow, brown, red... perfection. and the air was so cool and so crisp. we sat near the lake and had some coffee and then we went to a hill nearby to sit and enjoy the surroundings.
afterward, we came back to kosice and i had a quiet evening... reading and watching a documentary while knitting. i really don't know what the day was missing, it felt like everything my soul needed.
the rest of this holiday should be good as well. i just ordered some christmas gifts and am planning to go for some hummus and falafel in a few minutes. can't wait!
send me news!
an old post
i've moved, and since this move, i don't have such regular access to the internet. hence, this post is one that i wrote a few days ago... but worth posting, nonetheless.
Yesterday I booked my tickets to come home for Christmas. Get ready, Minnesota! I’m coming!
This last week has been a bit chaotic. On Sunday, I went to Val’s flat to meet her and Fabio for the Rugby World Cup between France and New Zealand. It was my first time watching rugby, but I must say, I am hooked. I am rarely a sports fan, but rugby was so much fun to watch that I will be eager to watch it again. France lost, unfortunately, but it was such a nice morning. Sitting on the couch and watching a game with two friends during the fall… it felt so familiar and so much like home.
After the game, we went to my friend Antonio’s for a small lunch. He lives in a house, so in the back he has a nice yard where we could sit and enjoy the fall weather. Most of the “Spanish team” was there, and Antonio had made pumpkin soup and tortillas (omelette with potatoes) for us. Plus, Val and Fabio had bought really great wine, so the afternoon was full of great food and great friends.
I had to leave early to meet my friend Vesna, because she was helping me move! Because that afternoon, I was moving into Val’s flat. Fortunately, it didn’t take that long to move all of my stuff. And when I went into my room, I was greeted by the most beautiful bedspread. Val and Fabio had found it for me at Tesco. It was pink, purple and covered with Disney Princesses! And, Fabio had bought me a beautiful poster in Paris of a woman staring at the moon with wolves and dogs. Wow. It was all so beautiful and such a wonderful welcome to my new room.
The rest of the week has been, as mentioned earlier, chaotic. We only had “official” school on Monday and Tuesday, and on Wednesday there was some promotion for the French bilingual section in the center where they played Petanque with the mayor. Thursday was a big event to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the bilingual section, and the students put on a big show for the whole school. It was really nice, except for the fact that there were many speeches… all of which were made in Slovak and interpreted into French, or vice a versa. I was lost. Plus, I had woken up late that morning and didn’t have time for my coffee, and I didn’t realize that the event was actually a pretty formal affair… and I showed up in jeans. Whoops.
Every evening I’ve been cooking!!! I’ve made brussel sprouts, bean soup, cookies… be impressed. This is more cooking than I’ve done in a whole year! I’m so happy to have someone to share my meals with. And last night, we danced to songs from the eighties. Finally, I’m living with someone who likes to dance as much as me. It will be a good three months.
This weekend is a holiday, so no school! Normally I would try to go somewhere and see something new, but this year I just wasn’t able to organize anything. My life has felt so nice being quiet that I don’t feel so eager to shake things up. This weekend a friend might come, but that’s it. I hope to do a lot of running, reading, knitting and sleeping.
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